Songs On Crack
by FiresideChild
Summary: Join Fire And Steve the Camera Guy as they put on a show where FF7, FF8, KHII, Disney, and Of course the fangirlsboys sing for their supper! Warnings: Shounenai, shojoai, language, drug and alcohol use, and IDIOCY! GET IT WHILE ITS HOT! Or...stupid.


Disclaimer: I don't own Saix, Roxas, Final Fantasy, Disney, Moogles, Chocobos, Kingdom Hearts, or this song, "When I Fall In Love". They belong to their respected writers, artists, creators, singer/songwriters and such. I don't WANT to own the Fan Girls/Boys but they've staked out my house as a "Non-Glomping Fan Who Protects The Bishounens From Mary-Sues And The Like" and they want to slaughter me. I do own Steve, 'cause he's mah man-bitch! Pets Steve.

Steve: Shrugs. Hey it's a living!

READ ON MAH FRIENDS!

SONGS ON CRACK

Act One: When I Fall For Roxas McEmoPants

(Setting: A large stage, with red curtains is sitting in front of a packed audience of KH characters, Final Fantasy characters, Disney characters, Moogles, Chocobos, a very irate looking group of fan girls, and some ecstatic looking Fan boys. The curtain opens slightly and a young woman walks out in blue jeans, black calf length high-heeled boots, and a red wife beater with a black work-shirt over it, completely opened. She has tabby cat ears and a tabby tail, her eyes are green and she has auburn hair.)

FSC: WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO **SONGS ON CRACK!!!** Where Disney and SquareSoft based characters sing idiotic 90's pop, 80's Rock, and OTHER STUPID SHIT! I am your hostess, FIRESIDE CHILD, or just Fire since my name is so goddamn long and annoying to type, and this is my faithful assistant, STEVE THE CAMERA GUY/ STAGE MANGER/ WHIPPING BOY!

Steve: In his older twenties or early thirties, with a slightly permanent blush, wearing a shirt that says "Fire's Bitch". Hey all. Um… Fire? We're on in five.

FSC: Thanks Steve! Winks and blows kiss. Today we have with us… Insert drum roll here ROXAS AND SAIX! Curtain rises showing the talk-show stage, you know, with a couch and a desk and a cheesy backdrop of a random nighttime skyline from New York. A band is illuminated on a smaller stage as Fire sit in her big cushy pleather spinney chair.

Saix: Enters via portal of darkness and sits on the couch. …

Roxas: Sighs and rolls his eyes heavenward, as if praying to be smitten right now and put out of his pain. Why do the Powers That Be™ hate me?

FSC: 'Cause you're emo-rific! Grins sweetly. Now, These sweet boys are goin' t' be singin' fer us t'night, ain't tha' jus' as sweet as cherry pie? Fake southern accent. (1)

Audience: Shouts of appreciation and stuff.

FSC: I though so! Smirks evil-like. So, what would you like to hear them sing for you tonight, ladies and gents? Oh wait…I DON'T CARE! I'm choosing which stupid song the do! Cackles malevolently. So I choose… "When I Fall In Love"(2)!!!

Roxas: Aw maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Rests head in hands.

Saix: Glares at Fire. I hate you.

FSC: You can't hate me, because you can't hate, because you have no heart. So HA! TAKE THAT BITCH!

Saix: Growls. I quite dislike it when she does things like this.

FSC: Get singing! Puts feet up on desk.

(Roxas and Saix grudgingly mutter between themselves and walk to the mike stands. The lights dim and soft music starts playing from the band.)

Saix:

Walks toward the middle of the floor.

_Maybe I'm old-fashioned feeling as I do._

_Maybe I'm just living in the past,_

_But when I meet the right one, I know I'll be true._

_My first love will be my last._

_When I fall in love_

_It will be forever._

_Or I'll never fall in love_

_In a restless world like this is_

_Love is ended before it's begun_

_And too many moonlight kisses_

_Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun._

Roxas:

Walks toward Saix with a forlorn look on his face.

_When I give my heart_

_It will be completely._

_Or I'll never give my heart._

Saix:

_Oh let me give me heart._

Roxas:

And the moment I can fell that you fell that way too 

Saix:

_I feel that way too._

Roxas:

_Is when I fall in love with you._

Saix:

_I'll fall in love with you._

Both:

By now they are standing together, and Saix has entwined his hand that ISN'T holding a microphone with Roxas'.

_When I fall in love_

_It will be forever._

_Or I'll never fall in love_

Saix:

Oh, I'll never, never fall in love 

Both:

Roxas looking deeply into Saix's eyes, as if he's the only person in the world.

_In a restless world like this is_

_Love is ended before it's begun_

_And too many moonlight kisses_

_Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun._

_OHHH!_

_When I give my heart_

_It will be completely_

Roxas:

_Or I'll never give my heart._

Saix:

_I'll never give,_

_Oh I'll never give my heart._

Both:

Both step closer.

And the moment I can feel that 

_You feel that way too_

Saix:

Saix leans down to eye level with Roxas.

Is when I fall in love 

Roxas:

Roxas places a hand on Saix's chest.

When I fall in love 

Both:

Their lips are almost touching as they sing the last note and the music fades.

When I fall in love with you 

Audience: CHEERHUZZAHSHOUTWHISTLECATCALLENCOREBRAVO!!!

Fan Girls/Boys Of Saix: HISSROXASSUCKSANDISEMOMCEMOPANTS!

Fan Girls/Boys of Roxas: BOOJEERSAIXISAGROSSPEDOPHILELIKEMJ! (3)

Roxas: Pushes Saix away. I need a shower. I've got Berserker Germs all over me. Runs offstage.

Saix: I feel like a pedophile. Left eye twitches. I need to rethink my life…Unlife…thing GAH! Loses his shit and freaks running off stage.

FSC: THAT'S IT FOR TONIGHT FOLKS! HAVE A WONDERUL NIGHT! Waves at the peoples. NEXT TIME IT'LL BE BETTER I PROMISE! LOVE YOU ALL!

Steve: Turns off camera. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's a wrap! Nice job people! Take a break, you all did great! Turns to you who are reading this. Thanks everyone, goodni- He is interrupted by Fire.

FSC: STEVE! Would you mind helping out over here? Roxas got drunk on Listerine! We need some coffee and salt, pleasekaythanks!

Steve: Sighs. No rest for the bitches. Walks off stage.

Notes:

I have NOTHING AGAINST SOUTHERN PEOPLE!

"**When I Fall in Love**" is a popular song, written by Edward Heyman and Victor Young. It was introduced in the film _One Minute To Zero_ (1952). The song has become a standard, with many artists recording it, though the original hit version was by Doris Day. "When I Fall in Love" was also recorded by Céline Dion and Clive Griffin, and released as a single in 1993. It was featured in the _Sleepless in Seattle_ movie. Don't Bite My Head Off For Wrong Lyrics! Please Kay Thanks!

I'm not saying Micheal Jackson did it, I'm saying the fans are judgemental.


End file.
